Myths about Self-Confidence
People who have self-confidence believe in
themselves and feel that they are capable of achieving what they want in life,
or dealing with any situation that they may have to face. They have an aura of self-confidence
and self-assurance, which is apparent to others. People like to spend time with
them; they feel comfortable and secure in their presence.
In contrast, there are many people who are
reasonably talented, but who lack self-confidence. These people are victims of
the several myths that surround self-confidence.
One of the foremost myths about
self-confidence is that people are born with self-confidence. It is a quality
that cannot be acquired. Nothing can be farther from truth. Self-confidence,
like other skills, can be built. All that you need is right guidance and a
belief in yourself.
There are others who blame their low
self-confidence to their lack of good looks and poor upbringing. They don’t
realize that self-confidence has nothing to do with their looks. It is a
reflection of one’s confidence. The only way they can overcome this myth is by
learning to believe in themselves. In fact, talent and self-confidence are not
inter-related. There are scores of talented actors and actresses who do very
well in their professions but whose personal lives are torn by lack of
self-confidence. It may sound contradictory, but this is how life is. Talent
can be an important component of self-confidence, but it is certainly not a
substitute for self-confidence. So, don’t worry about lack of talent. Harness
the skills that you possess.
Another myth is that self-confidence is
directly proportional to the recognition and praise that an individual gets in
his or her life; the ones who are not so lucky wallow in self-pity. Once again,
there is little doubt that recognition and praise make you feel good about
yourself, and boost your self-confidence. But you can’t simply depend on the
praise lavished by others. You have to work hard to earn that praise, and you can
do this only if you are self-confident. The same applies to those who are not
successful. They, too, can earn praise if they work hard and win people’s
respect.
Such people should look at children.
Children believe in themselves, and this gives them the self-confidence to try
to do things they have never done before, be it learning how to cycle or how to
swim. In fact, no child comes into the world knowing all the skills. But it
does not take long to teach children most of the basic skills. Then, why should
it be difficult for adults to learn new skills or brave new challenges?
Another myth is that only self-confident
people can afford to take risks. This again is not true. In fact,
self-confident people are more realistic about their capabilities. They know
what they can do, and what they can’t do. More importantly, they know how to
deal with failures. In contrast, people who lack self-confidence are afraid of
failure. This fear prevents them from taking on new tasks. They constantly pine
for the approval of others, and when they don’t get it they end up losing their
self-confidence.
What is apparent is the lack of
understanding. People must realize that self-confidence is a state of mind. It
is not dependent upon a person’s beauty or looks. It flows from a person’s
self-belief, and this belief can be built. All that a person needs to do is to
debunk myths that self-confidence cannot be acquired or that self-confidence is
a byproduct of exceptional knowledge, skills and luck. Once they do so, they will
find it easier to acquire the same magnetic powers that self-confident people
have.
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